Jimmy (Poking his head in): Hey, Richard, the Freshman Get-To-Know-Me Picnic is
in 15 minutes. Not gonna miss it, are ya?
Richard (Grinning and bearing it): No. No chance of that.
Jimmy: Ok, see you there, Richard. (Exits.)
Richard (Writing): Yup. I miss home already.
(Blackout.)
(Next scene is same room, that night. Richard is lying on his bed reading a Star
Trek novel. Enter Chris with her sketchbook.)
Richard (Still expecting Chris to be a guy): Hi.
Chris: Have you been in here all day?
Richard: Yeah.
Chris: Why don’t you go out and so something?
Richard: I have been doing something. Reading. (Flashes her his book.)
Chris: I see. Well, after I finished registration, I went to the top of the Phee
Building and sketched the Quad. This really is a beautiful campus.
Richard (Back to reading): Mmmmm . . . .
Chris (After a pause): Well, we’re going to be sharing a room all year, so I
might as well know something about you. Why’d you pick Computer Science?
Richard (Puts his book down. Proudly): Because I’m good at it. In high school, I
aced every computer course offered. I won the Basic Achievement Award, the
Pascal Achievement Award, the Fortran Achievement Award, and the Excellence in
Programming Award. I’m also fluent in C, Lisp, and Assembly. I graduated seventh
in my class. I was easily the best programmer in my school.
Chris: So why did you come to a hole like NCLU?
Richard: My parents couldn’t afford it. See, my father’s an asparagus farmer.
Demand was low last year.
Chris: What about a scholarship?
Richard: I guess I didn’t have enough extra-curricular activities. Hey, I was in
the Young Republicans Club! What more do they want?
Chris (Smiling): Well, I don’t know. But it’s the same with me. My parents are
broke, too. Besides, I wouldn’t want to be at a nerd school like MIT or Caltech
anyway.
Richard (Offended): What? I’d kill to go to MIT!
Chris: Mmmm. (Moves over to her closet to get a change of clothes. Takes a shirt
off a hanger.) So, what else do you like to do?
Richard: Well, I read books, watch TV a lot, do a lot of programming — (Chris
takes off her shirt.) Whoa — (Shields his eyes with his book.) Umm. . .
Chris (Turning around): Geez, Richard, you act like you’ve never seen a girl in
her underwear before.
Richard (Swallowing): Well. . . .
Chris: Hey, if it bothers you that much. . . . . (Puts her shirt on. Richard
lets out a sigh of relief.)
Richard: Listen, Chris, we have talk about this. I mean — it’s — you see –
you can’t be a girl. I mean, what will I tell my mom? She’ll kill me!
Chris: So you don’t tell her! I thought that’s what college was for. Getting
away from Mom.
Richard: Well. . . . . this (motions to Chris and her girl stuff) makes me –
uncomfortable.
Chris: You mean rooming with a girl? Come on, you’ll get used to it. Besides,
did you really expect your roommate to be just like you?
Richard: No, but I didn’t expect him to –
Chris: Have breasts? Heh, heh. You’ll live, Richard. (Returns to her closet and
gets a skirt. As she takes off her jeans. Richard completely covers up his eyes
with his book. Noticing this:) My God, Richard, are you really this shy around
girls? (She quickly puts on her skirt and comes over to Richard. She touches him
on the arm. He jumps ten feet.) A wee bit jumpy, are we? (Takes the book from
his hands.) Richard?
Richard (Shakily): Could I have my book back, please?
Chris: Why don’t you come with me to the Let’s-Be-Friends Freshman Dance? You’ll
meet some people. . . . .
Richard (Searching for an excuse): Uh, no, really, I, uh, have — have to start
a program tonight –
Chris: For what? Classes don’t start until next Monday.
Richard: Well, I have to start it so I’ll be ahead. . . . Besides, my mother is
going to call in about a half an hour. . . . . (Looks at his watchless wrist)
Chris: You don’t have to do a program and your mother will call back. C’mon,
let’s go. (Takes his arm.)
Richard (Pulls away): No, really. I — I can’t.
Chris: All right, Richard, stay here and veg with Mr. Spock and friends. (Throws
him his book.) I’m going to have some fun. (Puts on her shoes.) See you later,
Richard.
Richard: Bye. (Chris exits.) Whew. That was a close one.
(Blackout.)
(Next scene is a classroom. Small, capacity maybe 30 people. There are tables
that fit two people each. Enter Richard. He sits down at a table. He takes out a
notebook from his backpack and opens it to the first page. He writes down the
date, time, etc. Other students start to file in. One of them is Millis. Millis
is on the late side, and scans the room for an empty seat. Finally, he spots one
next to Richard. As he sits down, Richard flashes an unbelieving and shocked and
unbelieving look at Millis.)
Professor (English accent): Ok, I’d like to get started. This is Biology I
Laboratory. My name is Dr. David C. Ennard. Our first experiment involves the
digestive tract of a young turtle. The person sitting next to you will be your
lab partner for the entire semester. Today I’m going to dismiss you early so you
can get acquainted and do some initial research on the subject. Ok? If there are
no questions, I’ll see you next week.
(Richard raises his hand, but the professor ignores him.)
Millis: We will work in your room. Where do you live?
Richard (Weakly): Kennedy Hall.
Millis: Let’s go. (Gathers up his 20-page notebook and pen and rumbles toward
the door.)
(Richard closes his notebook and clumsily shoves it into his backpack. He
lurches the backpack on and heads toward the door, running to catch up.
Blackout.)
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